BAR2014

 

 

The summer of change

 

 

This summer I just had a feeling that my life was ready for a shift, a change. I knew that there were patterns of behaviour for me that have been happening for most of my life for a number of reasons, the main ones being the sudden death of my mum when I was 9, the re-marriage of my dad, and later on in my mid thirties the major split up of a long term relationship, leaving me as a single parent of a 3 year old and a 3 day old baby. At various points in my life I have had counselling and I knew in my heart of hearts that 'I’d been there, got the t shirt,' and that there was something else that I needed just to help me to get rid of some deep set issues regarding my self esteem as a result of these major traumatic experiences and abandonment. Issues that I knew were holding me back as a parent, friend and partner, and could potentially damage good relationships. I knew I had to take responsibility, control but I didnt really know how to do it.

 

My great friend Anna has said for a number of years that hypnosis had worked on her, but I had put the idea on the 'back burner' until recently. Having also admitted to myself that I have become slightly deaf in one ear and decided, in January, that teaching small children in school was becoming increasingly stressful, I took the plunge, I swallowed my pride, I got the hearing aid. For some reason being only 40 with one was a big issue for me. That in itself helped, but it didnt stop the utter 'stress out times' both at home and school that I had been putting down to not hearing properly and tiredness. I have also been having  major ongoing incidents regarding my neighbour which I was struggling to deal with. Time to make a change.

 

So this summer I chose Julie. I rang first. (I recommend this, it was the initial chat that really helped). Her liveliness, enthusiasm and sheer belief in the treatment compelled me to go. I didnt really know what she meant by NLP but I looked into it, made the appointment and thought I'd give it a go. I was lucky to have a period of time in the summer when my kids were on holiday with their dad so I had time to really think and reflect on the effects of the treatment with Julie without having to deal with anyone else. It was me time. It felt exciting . . . but a bit scarey.

 

I needed practical help, manageable, clear ways to help me to help myself. Not just for now, for the moment, but for the rest of my days. This is what I now seem to have. It's incredible. The phrase that stands out is 'make the most of what we have got.' I like that phrase. It made sense. Everything Julie said to me I understood. I sat there thinking 'oh yes . . . of course . . . why couldnt I have thought of that! Why cant I make myself see in that way?!'

 

Through the NLP, Julie really helped to make me laugh, to consider situations and feelings towards people and events present and past from a different perspective. She taught me visualisation techniques to make problems and people seem less frightening, how to use the anchoring technique, emotional freedom techniques, all manageable and memorable. All the issues I discussed were then summarised in the hypnosis session. It was a truly incredible, moving experience, especially when she actually asked my subconscious mind if I was ready to stop the learned behaviour and accept new ways of being. The emotional release was so powerful, so overwhelming I burst into tears in the session. And then I couldn't stop smiling. I am a very visual person anyway, but the images that I have in my head of myself and people since then have been really quite powerful. My creative side has just been re released. Amazing.

 

During the hypnosis session I realised that I have been feeling like I have been trapped under water at the deep end of a pool for years, trying to communicate to people, doing ok but not really being able to get through to people or to hear properly. I had a profound image of bursting through the water surface and breathing, lying on a hot rock in the sun and warming myself, flat out like a star fish, smiling, just beaming all over. And this feeling just hasn't really gone away. It's funny, I came out of the session feeling really tired, armed with my bottle of water and time to myself to reflect and I have continued to reflect. And I realise that my sense of urgency has gone, that I dont seem to get as flustered, stressed, like I have emerged, I can breathe, see, hear, relax. I feel truly centred, like my bitterness and sharp edge has gone, like my glass is brimming not half empty. I feel like I have been driving an automatic car for years and someone has given me a geared car to drive but that I can drive it because, well, I just know I can.

 

I actually look people in the eye, strangers in shops, I seem to feel OK to engage and smile properly, like I am allowed to be there. I seem to have lost that panic, that shot feeling, that inevitable sense of things ending because that's what happens to me. I got a parking ticket and I didn't flip out, I got verbally abused by my someone and stood up to them. I have begun the de-clutter process at home which has been a long time coming. I feel in control. It feels great. And if I can't cope, I seem to know how to make myself feel better. And I dont feel I need to check everything out 100 times with 100 different people. It's a revelation and I would recommend it to anyone. I actually think that part of my deafness has been an emotional inability to hear. Partially. Wow.

 

I just know that I will never look back. I can't explain why I know, I just do. And for me to be able to say that I know this is one amazing change. I'm not even scared that I will slip back. Something inside me has healed, forgiven, accepted, floated away. And a fire, a warmth, a centred feeling has emerged. I truly believe that I am worth looking after, that I don't deserve to be walked on. And I know that people around me can see a difference. And I am buzzing, not all the time, but hey that's life. I am still amazed with the change in my outlook on life. Together with the daily use of the self hypnosis CD, I am finding ways that make me feel so much better. And I love it,  I just love it.

 

Caroline


 

Julie Woodcock

0113 834 5424

or

0800 007 5052

 

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